


this is how it feels (to be replaced)

by Anonymous



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Break Up, Depressed Keith (Voltron), Depression, Drowning, F/M, Hurt Keith (Voltron), Keith (Voltron) Whump, Keith (Voltron)-centric, M/M, Overdosing, Self-Harm, Suicidal Keith (Voltron), Suicide, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 16:55:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23570440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: keith was hanging on by a thread. when it is cut, he gives up.--hiya it's vent time!! i wrote this in like an hour and a half whilst sobbing so sorry for any grammatical errors but i turned off spellcheck on my phone so what happens happens lol.please check the tw as i dont want y'all to hurt yourselves reading this.fic title from Replaced by Alec Benjamin (DEMO) as i had a massive breakdown to it whilst writing this and voila a fresh new vent piece
Relationships: Keith/Lance (Voltron), Lance/Un-named Female
Comments: 2
Kudos: 134
Collections: anonymous





	this is how it feels (to be replaced)

**Author's Note:**

> TW: self harm, overdosing, suicide attempt and drowning/suffocation implications

keith could still remember every aspect of the last time he saw lance. the way his tears felt as they slid down his cheeks and down his neck, cold as they ran beneath his shirt. the way his nose clogged as he sobbed silently, grasping at his pillow in an attempt to imagine that lance was still there.

how dismissive lance had been of him as he'd dumped the box on his doorstep, memories of the past five years shoved away into keith's possession. how his new girlfriend had called to him from the car and how lance had looked so fucking happy to see her. how he'd never seemed to be that happy to see keith. 

he'd sorted through the box, the pictures they'd taken together that he had printed out to put on lance's walls, the shirts he'd left over for when he accidentally stayed the night and the hoodie.

the one that he'd given to lance that was always work by him when they were together. the clothing was soft from repeated washes and useage, small holes in some places. keith grasped it to his chest as he continued to cry, tears darkening the red fabric as he inhaled the faint scent of the person he loved. 

he knew that starting the relationship was a big fucking mistake. lance was so far out of his league, as a friend or a lover, either was unattainable. he'd never had any friends who'd hung around him for longer than five years, hell, his mother ditched him as soon as possible and his father left when he was nine. 

pidge and hunk were lance's friends not his. they would be leaving too, alongside lance, even though they'd made that pact that they'd be friends until the end. maybe the end for keith would come sooner than expected.

all the loose ends in his life were tied up. the only people he spoke with were shiro, lance, pidge and hunk. lance was gone and pidge and hunk had gone with him too. shiro was engaged and would be perfectly fine without him. everyone would. the world would. one less person using up resources that could be used for another person who was more important. 

he could do it.

keith sat up from his bed, staring at he balled up red hoodie before walking over and pulling it on. it was just as oversized as when he'd first bought it, if not even more stretched out from use, from hundreds of times of forcing his own and lance's bodies into it at once. the sleeves dragged past his hands as he made his way to the bathroom. 

once he got there, he turned on both taps on the bath, plugging the stop at the bottom so no water left. he stepped the room again, moving back to his bedroom where he kept the heirloom from his mother in perfect working condition. he brought it into the bathroom, alongside his phone, and lay them on the side of the sink.

he put his hand under the running water, the ice cold feeling from one side and the burning fire from the other feeling the same, icy hot. keith stripped out of his sweatpants, leaving on his boxers and the hoodie as the bath finished filling up enough for him to sink under comfortably.

he took a deep breath and typed out a note on his phone, putting it to automatically send to his university if not cancelled in 24 hours, before opening up the cupboard in his bathroom and pulling out a cup and pill bottle. a quick detour to the kitchen for a bowl and rolling pin then he was counting.

sleeping pills and paracetamol. the whole bottle of prescription sleeping pills for his insomnia, 112 tablets. the remainder of the bottle of paracetamol, 47 tablets. he put them all into the bowl and ground them into a powder using the rolling pin. when they were all crushed, he locked the bathroom door and added water to the bowl until the powder turned to liquid. 

keith sat in the bath.

he rolled up his sleeves and brought his mother's knife closer, so it was easier to reach, before choking down the pill concoction. he waited for them to begin kicking in before he brought the knife to his arms.

he moved it vertically, cutting across horizontal lines as he moved from wrist to elbow. once, twice, thrice on each arm before a deep cut at each wrist for good measure.

after the first two cuts on each arm, the handle of his knife got more slippery as his blood dribbled out his body. his fingers began to feel weak, so he dropped the knife on the floor beside the bath and sunk down. keith slowly wiggled the sleeves of the hoodie down his arms, the soft clothing turned harsher by the water, rubbing across the fresh, gaping wounds. 

keith could barely feel the pain though. he felt drowsy, sinking deeper until his face was submerged under the murky water. 

his last conscious thought was wondering how the water had turned reddish-orange so fast.


End file.
